Posts Tagged Jokes

Ode to Texas

Texas, fight. Texas, fight,
in the title game.
For it is a BCS championship
that you shall claim.
To Colt, Mack, Bevo
and all the rest,
all that is expected
is your very best.
So that when it is all over,
and the stands have cleared,
may it be to Alabama,
the worst they could have feared.
Not because they are unworthy,
or likely cheating again,
but because I’m a selfish fellow,
and I really want UT to WIN!

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5 Sources of Bad Theology

My readers know I do my best to bring the body of Christ together rather than to divide it, but there are still sources within the body of which we need to beware and be aware. Like where we develop our theology, doctrine, and overall belief system. Might I just suggest “5 Sources of Bad Theology”:

5. Television – I don’t mean TV preachers (although that is certainly a potential source, but, on the whole, they’re not bad), I mean television that is loosely about Christianity. And I love it. I watch the History and History International channels almost religously, but I rarely make it through a program without hearing a narrator say something like, “…as Christians believe.” No wonder people think we’re nuts.

4. Bumper Stickers – Stuff like “My boss is a Jewish Carpenter” always makes me chuckle. Really? Mine isn’t. My Lord and Savior might have been a carpenter or mason, but I don’t think we know that for sure. His earthly step-dad was, but I think it is pretty clear from scripture that Jesus was a rabbi. Now He’s our High Priest and a whole host of other really cool labels, but not “Carpenter.” How about this one, “The Best Vitamin for Christians is B1″? Shouldn’t that be the prescription for “non-Christians”?

3. T-shirts – see above.

2. Blogs – Gotcha! I don’t mean our blogs of course, I mean bloggers who set up straw-man Christian positions to argue against. A loving God wouldn’t do this, this contradicts that, yada, yada, yada. You know what I mean. And shame on us Christians for taking the bait. Arguing to disprove a lie is not the same as arguing from truth.

1. Christian Music – Now, admittedly, I listen. Our church’s worship service is contemporary, and I thoroughly enjoy it and approve of it. But, I don’t think I would trust my child’s Christian education to many contemporary Christian lyricists. I won’t offend by direct quotation, but I’m sure you know what I mean.

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A Lawyer Dies and Goes to Heaven Joke

A friend of mine from church emailed me this, and I just had to share:

A lawyer dies and goes to heaven. “This must be a mistake,” he says to St. Peter. “I’m too young to die. I’m only 50.”

St. Peter say raising and eyebrow, “Fifty? According to our calculations, you’re 82.”

“How’d you get that?” The Lawyer asked.

“We added up your billable hours.”

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Oh Crap! That was Funny!

The worship pastor at our church (who also happens to be accompanying my wife on her mission trip to Brazil) emailed this to my wife today regarding their full calendars, and I thought it was funny enough to share:

Oh CrapI hope REGAN will forgive any copyright infringement. If he would like, he can have all of the profits I’ve made off of this post.

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