To be so funny you cause someone pain is really quite something. I would imagine only the very best comedians are able to make such a claim. And I would imagine that only the truly elite are able to make such a claim using the written word.

So, to be so funny that you cause pain by proxy is really quite an achievement indeed. Last week, my post Don’t Bite Your Friends was apparently just such an achievement.

A very dear friend of mine who shall remain nameless (but the author of this blog) was reading the aforementioned post and was so overcome by the sheer comedic force thereof that he apparently blurted out to his spouse:

Peter Lopez is the funniest person I know.

The problem: such a statement necessarily displaces all others, said spouse included, from laying claim to that title.

Now, I’m sure you all are aware that in the law, the truth is an absolute defense to any form of defamation claim. So, while my friend may be factually correct in his assertion, and thereby free from any civil and/or criminal penalties, he is so busted at home. *Feel free to check out his blog and offer him words of comfort and consolation.*

For the sake of marriages everywhere, just know that I am perfectly satisfied with being the second funniest person any of you know.